Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
