Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
