Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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