The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
