didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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