u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i will never coherently bang her
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
