he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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