i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize