yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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