I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
