Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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