you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
