He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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