hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
