I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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