We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
