people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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