apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
