How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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