Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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