i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
