Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
