dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
