Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
