Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize