I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize