My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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