we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
