But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
