i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
