a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
