I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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