it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think my tv is drunk
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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