wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
