Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
