I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
