Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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