There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
