Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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