I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
