your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
