I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
