That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
