thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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