he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
