How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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