Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
