i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
