lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
