Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
