At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
