it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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