Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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