the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My balls are so social today.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
