Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
