i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
