so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
