Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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