3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
