Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
