here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
