Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
where are my eyebrows?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
