Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I've blown a few things in my day
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
