She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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