PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
