So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
