the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
